WOW! It’s been a couple of years that I haven’t  posted on here. Life has changed and I’m moving forward with it. Ahhhh, where do I begin, The last I posted I was temporarily living in a friend’s garage and well that didn’t work out but we still managed to keep our friendship. As I reflex back I felt so helpless and so alone, even though I still had my mother and kids I just felt like a failure. The word homeless is so misunderstated, we have so many peoples and families that are still homeless, that aren’t able to get on their feet. The cost of a rental is outrageous and the moving in cost is even as bad too. I managed to start a new job got to know my co-workers and one of them happen to have a converted garage for rent. So one of my daughter moved in with me, my youngest girl went off to college and my two older girls rented an apartment with one of their friends. My son refused to move with me so his two older sisters let him live with them. We were apart but still close together and every weekend we gathered at Nana’s home. When holidays came around we always met at Nana’s home, that was a safe zone for us. That was the closes to being our home because we were all apart temporarily. As I look back faith, love and God kept us together.

Trust in themselves

Trust in yourselves are words that are very hard to trust and believe in. For the following years my family had to live in different homes until we would be able to live in the same home.

You just have to trust your own gut and move forward

Moving forward is so hard to do. You have to believe in yourself to be able to move forward and that is hard to accomplish when you have lost trust in the whole world and faith. After losing our home we officially became homeless. You find out who your true friend are and who stands behind you or supports you. But you know, sometimes all you need to hear is"Everything will be alright" and those word apparently were to hard to be spoken by some of the people you knew. Even in the myth of it all I was able to trust in the Lord. We left so many of our things behind and took only what we could take.  I stored mine and my children s belongings in storage and a great friend allowed me to send my mail to her home temporarily. 
I felt lost and confused because two of my children were living elsewhere and the rest of us were living in a garage temporarily and our mail to another home. I felt so helpless because I failed as a parent because I could not keep my family together under the same roof. I felt so helpless.
You read about those families that are homeless and you ask "What happen for them to be homeless" well know I understand. It's called LIFE and you have to have empathy towards the human race. So when I share my story with families, they are shocked that I can understand and relate to what they are currently going through. I share with them and I tell them that they have to move forward and to trust in themselves. 

Life how hard it is to understand

Life, how hard it is to understand. 
LIFE is so hard and for the average person let alone a religious one is even harder. I believe LIFE is like a your own personal book and has many many chapters. The chapters can be easy or can be hard. They are your trials and tribulations in which your faith is tested. 
When I was trying to explain this to my children about faith, they were full of so many questions that even made me have questions my own faith. I just told them that we are tested and it is up to us no to lost faith. 
As I was coming along in these past years, my faith has been tested. After divorce, losing my job and  losing our home I felt that the whole world was against me and my family. My faith was so being tested, I remember a good friend was comforting me in church and she stopped the priest to ask him if he could help me with what I was going through and his response was "Your doing a good job" he proceed to walk away. I never felt so alone and rejected by my priest from my childhood church. I walked away and didn't look back at the church. 
But life has to go on and you have to trust your own faith in the Lord and that he has plans for you. You just have to trust your own gut and move forward.   

That forgiveness is good for the soul.

That forgiveness is good for the soul.   "FORGIVENESS" a big word for anyone to understand or even accomplish. Once you have learned to forgive your soul is cleansed and a thousands of pounds have been lifted from you. Believe me it is so great for you and life changing. What got me through my separation and the preparation of him leaving our home of 20 years was a lot of prayer and a few great friends that helped me to understand and support me. God also put a couple of special people in my life to help me along with the process. But my biggest supporter were my own children, they are the best. I could not of made it with out them. Their Nana would tell me why do you tell them so much, why are they so involved. I remember telling her they needed to know and understand that their lives were going to change and it was not going to be easy. OUR LIVES.
A very good friend asked me if I still loved him and I told him yes I did, I was willing to try anything. He shared that if I did then I needed to do this. When I was ready to hear the truth because a man knows if he still loves you or not and I had to be ready for his response. And the day and time came when I was trying to tell him that no matter what we can make it work if you still love me and he said that he couldn't tell me right now. I insisted because he would've been able to tell me yes or no. Well he said some horrible words and said no. So from that day forward it was about the children. A few months later with my heart so heavy with pain I found myself praying and asking The Lord to help me to forgive because I could no longer have this pain. I asked God with my whole heart to help me forgive and to pray for, to be able to. When that special moment happened, the most beautiful warm feeling past through me and I felt at peace. God taught me the importance of Forgiveness and how cleansing it is for your soul. Now I can talk about him and have no anger. I shared with my children and I am trying show them the importance of life. Life how hard it is to understand. 

That is what I am trying to teach my children.

That is what I am trying to teach my children. Teach them you should respect others as you want them to respect you. To get along with one another including your family and extended family. To love one another even when they have broken your heart. Now that is very hard when your own heart was broken by your own husband. They now realize that love is not forever. I try to tell them that they are right, that maybe it's one step closer to your true Soul Mate, your true love. That it's a step towards happiness.  I know it sounds like a fairy tale however if you don't believe in dreams then what is left to trust. 
I still believe that a man should open the doors, come and meet your parents, ask permission to take you out on a date and be respectful to wait until that special moment in time. My kids tell me that I am old fashion and have old views. But those views have helped me and molded me, who I am now. I am not perfect and I do have some things that I am not proud of but with the help of our Lord I have been able to forgive myself and others. Forgiveness, that is very hard to accomplish but possible. That's what I'm trying to teach my children that forgiveness is good for the soul.   

To have faith and trust in how you feel and to love one another

To have faith and trust in how you feel and to love one another
That is a very strong word "FAITH".  A word that means so much but can be forgotten in an instinct. As I was growing up I had no FAITH because I didn't believe in myself and I trusted no one. Yet I had friends but not ones that I can say that we have remained since elementary, junior high or even high school. You know those friendships that regardless what has happen in life you are still friends, till the end. Don't get me wrong I have friends now and very good friends but it is hard to teach your children about friendship when they come and go.
But I came to grips with something, that friendships are placed in your life for a reason. That people are placed in your life at the time of your needs. You are to learn from them, cry with them, grow with them and learn to forgive with them. That the higher power knows who are your real friends and it's not only friends, it can be your extended family too as your friends. So don't fret because people come in and out of your life it just means that the  friendship is done for now. It just means that it's time to move on to a next chapter. 
That is what I am trying to teach my children. Which is very hard for them to understand because todays times are so different from when I was growing up and times are so advance beyond.